Friday, February 24, 2012

Free Auto Insurance, National Denial, and Alouette!

Yes, I know I've been on a commercial kick lately. But in my defense, most commercials and ads give a lot of fodder for questioning from those who find them usually so ridiculous.

Major auto insurance companies continually put in their commercials how changing to their policies saves you $400 or $500 a year from the other guy. On a television commercial, Jerry Newman left State Farm and his agent Jessica to save money at the 15 minute place [Geico]. He crashed his car through the brick wall of his house and wants to go back to State Farm. [Personally, I wouldn't cover him for anything. He's a bad risk.] And Jessica gives Jerry the spiel how he could save $400 or $500 by switching to State Farm from Geico. Now, think about that. If all these claims are accurate, a driver could switch a couple of times and come out with no cost insurance! Saved $400 in fifteen minutes by switching from State Farm to Geiko. Now he can save another $400 by switching from Geico back to State Farm Then, he can save $400 more by switching from State Farm to 21st Century, ad infinitum. How long before you reach a zero cost policy!

During a Press Conference in 2008, Barack Obama was asked by General Bill Ginn [USAF ret'd] '...why he doesn't follow protocol when the National Anthem is played...?'

"...The General also noted for the Senator that according to the United States Code, Title 36, Chapter 10, Sec. 171... During rendition of the national anthem when the flag is displayed, all present except those in uniform are expected to stand at attention facing the flag with the right hand over the heart. At the very least, "Stand and Face It..."

[Remember, Barack Obama was running for the Presidency of the United States]

"As I've said about the flag pin, I don't want to be perceived as taking sides...There are a lot of people in the world to whom the American flag is a symbol of oppression. And the anthem itself conveys a war-like message. You know, the bombs bursting in air and all. It should be swapped for something less parochial and less bellicose. I like the song 'I'd Like To Teach the World To Sing...If that were our anthem,then I might salute it. We should consider to reinvent our National Anthem as well as to redesign our Flag to better offer our enemies hope and love. It's my intention, if elected, to disarm America to the level of acceptance to our Middle East Brethren. If we as a Nation of warring people, should conduct ourselves as the nations of Islam, whereas peace prevails. Perhaps a state or period of mutual concord between our governments. When I become President,I will seek a pact or agreement to end hostilities between those who have been at war or in a state of enmity, and a freedom from disquieting oppressive thoughts. We as a Nation have placed upon the nations of Islam an unfair injustice. My wife disrespects the Flag for many personal reasons. Together she and I have attended several flag burning ceremonies in the past, many years ago. She has her views and I have mine...Of course now, I have found myself about to become the President of the United States and I have put aside my hatred. I will use my power to bring CHANGE to this Nation, and offer the people a new path of hope. My wife and I look forward to becoming our Country's First Family. Indeed, CHANGE is about to overwhelm the United States of America."

Of course, the mainstream media buried this comment. And enough people out there still voted for him. And we have a total mess in this Country because of his policies and profligate spending. I don't suggest anyone ask him about the Constitution this time around. And let's hope our voter friends learn their lessons and vote for 'anybody but Obama!.' Except, of course, the Ron Paul chaos.
Target's recent commercial is backed by a 1958 recording of 'Alouette' by the Delta Rhythm Boys. Sounds great.

MyLowes, on the other hand, has chosen a more modern setting for its flying, swirling paint colors. The song is 'Colors', and it's written and sung by April Smith and the Great American Picture Show. I searched the group, and I'll be purchasing and downloading their album with the full version of colors. During my search, I also came across a duet named Secret Sisters. They remind me of the old duo Patience and Prudence. Their first album [late last year] has Sinatra's 'Something Stupid' on it, and I like the sound. I may be buying and downloading that one too.
Airoptix has a new set of Lenses 'for people who sleep in their lenses.' I don't know about you, but I sleep in my pajamas and a bed. I've never seen a lens big enough to sleep in. And I certainly wouldn't want it in my eye.
And finally, we have the Pizza Hut Dinner Box where the announcer enthusiastically states: "Best of all, the $10 dinner box is only ten bucks!" I wonder if the guy who thought that one up got a raise? "Remember, our nickel cigar is now a buck!" Instead of the Clio, these guys should be getting the asp.

Wednesday, February 08, 2012

Stupid Is as Stupid Does

Are we stupid in general? or do only some of us lose control of our brains at times?

As first found in the 'Stupid' books of Leland Gregory [but shortened and re-worded except where quoted]:

*According to the AP in 2004: a "Norwegian motorist is slapped with parking ticket while stuck in traffic jam." [Must be a new source of income for the City.]
*In 1996 according to a police report: a school bus driver and his friend were charged with child endangerment because they told scary stories to five and six year old passengers. [Overheard in prison: "I'm in this dump for mass murder, meat. What did you do?" "I told scary stories to my bus passenger children."]
*In 1991, Japan had its biggest traffic jam in history. After a typhoon, about 15,000 vehicles were at a standstill over 94 miles of road! [And no port-a-potties!]
*In 1993, a traffic commissioner dismissed a speeding ticket because the issuing cop's motorcycle was the wrong color. ??? It was painted blue and white instead of the required black and white. [The uniform, helmet, siren, chase, and stop apparently didn't give the motorist a clue---because black isn't blue! Give me a break!]
*A newspaper ad: "Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with rounded bottom for efficient beating." ['nuff said.]
*Warning found on a Korean kitchen knife: "Keep out of children." [Good advice for the continuation of the families.]
*A sign outside a furniture store in Virginia: "Antique tables made here daily." [Must be a distressed business.]
*An instruction sign on a camera back a few years ago: "This camera only works when there is film inside." [I guess air is not a good photographic medium.]
*Newspaper ad: "Christmas sale. Hand made gifts for the hard-to-find person." [Too many people playing hide-and-seek.]

In Middle English, the word 'balded' meant white. Ultimately, the word was shortened to 'bald,' and the American Eagle---with its white-feathered head---became known as a 'bald' eagle. [Despite the book title, I wouldn't say this fact is stupid. It's a factual explanation of something most of us glide over.]
Television commercials:
*In an ad for a Lawyers' Firm, a supposed client says: "...He was more than a lawyer. He was a human being..." [as opposed to, say, a shark?]
*Attend the MMI tech school and learn about motorcycles: "...I get up every day, and I love what I do..." [I love getting up every day also. It means my obituary won't be the morning's newspapers.]

Our children are currently being represented as dumb instead of smart, and the ad writers are as asinine as usual. Dumb down the population so you can sell more product. There's a Totino commercial making the rounds on television. Two boys are standing in front of a freezer [with no back, by the way] and calling Mom on the cell phone. "Mom, we're dying!" "No you're not. You're just hungry." They're at the freezer with the door wide open---and I always thought to die you had to stick your head in an oven. Staring them in the face is a bright yellow box of Totinos. They can't see it. Mom has to direct them to turn their gaze a few inches to the left where the yellow box is quite apparent. Okay they say. Thanks Mom. The boys grab the box, put the phone in the freezer, turn away while leaving the door wide open. At the table is a plate of Totino's exuding cigarette smoke to make you think they're hot and fresh. That's really something you would expect from Doug Hefernan or Arthur Spooner and Carrie. By the way, anyone remember: energy shortages? fatty fast food? education levels? common sense?