Sunday, July 04, 2010

Hot off the Presses fromYour Friendly, Retired CPA

*Looking for cheap phone service? A system called OOMA professes to give you free home phone service. BUT! Firstly, you have to have a working land-line, meaning your phone company still provides service for what? $20 a month? Then you have to buy the OOMA equipment in various configurations for $249.95; pay $40 to transfer your existing phone number; $12 to change your number or the name on the account. Your monthly charges for your free phone service include: $5 for enhanced voice-mail; $3.47 [in New Haven CT] for taxes and fees---regulatory compliance; 911 service fee; federal universal service charge. Further costs include: $.99 per directory assistance call; $40 per year for support; $50 per year extended warranty. And so my friends, the OOMA free home phone service is anything but free.

The ads also spout that international calls begin at 1.4 cents per minute. That amount is for Canada; all other countries are higher. The ad goes on to claim that such international phone charges are "next to nothing". It all depends on your definition of 'next' and 'nothing.' Home big is it? I compared some of the minute charges with those from Magic Jack---second figure in [xx] for each Country: Canada 1.4 [0]; China 2.5 [2.0]; Mexico 7.0 [9.0]; Afghanistan [call Osama?] 49.0 [32.0]; Antarctica $1.87 [$1.21]; Egypt 22.2 [17.0]; and Ireland 2.3 [2.0]. You'll see that some Countries are actually cheaper with OOMA, but you have to fork over a bundle just to get to the dial.

*Are your arms flabby? Well, you need a 'Shake Weight!' Spend $19.95 to purchase this arm-shaking system to tone up your arms. It's new! It's neato! But wait! Can't you get the same exercise by using a cocktail shaker? And men? Well, you have to pony up $29.95 for the thing which will help you become muscle bound in no time. If this exercise is so great, why don't all bartenders have strong, toned upper arms? Personally I'd like my vodka martini [shaken not stirred] to help tone up my arms while it destroys my liver.

*Here it is. The new and revolutionary Mighty Corsage! Grow it on your arm or lapel as you need it. It stays dormant sealed in it's packet. Take it out, place it in it's holder [lapel, breast, or arm] with a touch of water, and it will grow to maturity in two or three hours [you must provide your own bee.] A gorgeous bunch of flowers to enhance your image. Only $19.95 plus shipping and handling [$19.95]. But wait! Call today [but we can only accept 2,000,000 orders each day] and we'll include a brand new used Yugo car! Just pay a separate shipping charge [$3,500.] But wait again! We'll include a special DVD with The Best of Vince---you know we can't do it all day---for your viewing and listening pleasure. Just pay the separate shipping and handling cost [$29.95.] So CALL NOW and get that thing I said for $19.95 plus shipping and handling, the Yugo---just pay a separate shipping and handling cost, and the DVD---just pay the separate shipping and handling cost.

Remember folks, all those ads on TV for items costing $10 or $19.95 are going to cost you a lot more. The shipping and handling fees are high, and that's how they make a profit. When they double something, they add more shipping and handling. When they add more items to the offer, they add more shipping and handling. Also remember, that these companies aren't giving anything away. They're in the business to make money, and that's what they're going to do: right from your wallet or purse.

*Scientists today, as shown on the Science Channel all the time, are trying their best to explain life, the Big Bang and other astronomical and biological miracles in terms of chance encounters, physical interactions, and time. They notably leave out God in all their discussions. I believe that the entire span of life of the Universe was decided in a second or less by God before He created the Big Bang. Everything that happened after that was guided by God's hand in the physical interactions from His creation of physics, chemistry, biology, astronomy, etc. Creating and giving mankind the freedom of will and action, however, was a deviation from the plan. He wanted us to be free to do what we wanted and develop the faith to believe in Him and His works. I've been reading books and articles on astronomy, physics, chemistry, sociology, biology,religion and numerous other areas for fifty years. And my faith is still strong. Mankind has deviated from what could have been for happiness and security for all, and he has divided his thoughts and actions between good and evil. We still suffer from the evil part. When the scientists finally admit that God was the prime mover in creation, they'll probably work on trying to discover who or what created God.

*"...If you or a loved one suffered serious side effects or died from using Avandia, call this office and speak to a qualified attorney to discuss monetary damages you could receive." This ad is directed to YOU! Now, how the devil can YOU call an attorney if you're dead??

*"I just wanted to look around." I like, but not the newer commercials. They claim someone can go online and quick as a flash, information on the persons parentage will appear like magic from other members Family Trees. Well, that sounds good, but I've found enough errors in a lot of family trees to make me question almost all the information provided. If you're doing research, you have to remember to take third-party information with a grain of salt.

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