Lawyers in Sharkskin Suits

It's really getting ridiculous on TV with the attorney ads. The latest editions have suggested how the legal staffs prepare for them. As you know, medical literature describes all medications in detail, right through the chemistry. It tells you how the medication works and what organs it affects---Then, it gives you detailed information on side effects and warnings. "Don't take this medication if you have..." Do not exceed...pills in a 24-hour period. "Discuss with your doctor if you suffer from..." The information details go on aud nauseam about the dangers of the stuff. And, because of these sue-happy lawyers, any medication ad spends more time listing side effects than it does talking about the medication itself. Notice the magazine ads with two pages of medical information?

Lawyers Approaching the Bench by Jeff Leedy

Back to the commercials. Apparently, the attorneys' staffs read about the side effects and other important information about a drug, make an ad misleading the listener based on that information, and frighten them into shunning the medication in the first place. This causes needless suffering, but the lawyers catch a client or two from the many who call them trying to cash in on something. Is there any wonder why sharks are pictured in the dictionary at the description of attorney/lawyer? Anything to promote their business, eh?

In their defense, however, I'll say that on occasion they do a service---such as the recent commercials about the trans-vaginal mesh. There's a lot of controversy about the mesh's use, though the ad never mentions the health damage of doing nothing in the first place. A conundrum.

Talk to your doctor about medications you are prescribed. They all have side effects. They use the liver or kidneys to be processed after their medical applications, and then they leave, usually through the urine. Find out about interactions between drugs you're taking. Overdoses are generally where most of the problems are, followed by prior-medical problems and drug interactions. Every medication on the market has side effect, and the providers go into the necessary details about them.

I have gout in a big toe and arthritis in my hands. The only medication [other than habit-forming amounts of narcotics] that helps is the OTC Aleve aka Naproxen Sodium. Taken for a few days provides welcome relief. But the medication is removed via the kidneys, and because of diabetes, I only have a third of my kidney function left. So, the doctor told me not to take it more than once or twice a week---if I had to. If I took it more, I might end up with a complete kidney failure, and the lawyers would be crowding at my door for me to sue someone. There's nothing more scary than to wake up with a haze and see the grinning shark teeth of a lawyer 'there to protect my rights.'

Lawyer in a Sharkskin Suit painting by Ryan Berkley

I wonder about these attorneys, though. I'll bet you even money that they use some of the same products they're railing against. You don't think an attorney is going to take an aspirin or a Tylenol for a headache? Is he concerned about liver failure? What about the other drugs they rail against: Avandia or insulin for diabetes; ? How do they treat or cure their afflictions---and they do have afflictions like other humans [as the woman said in one regularly televised ad "...he treated me well. He's more than a lawyer; he's a human being..." thus leading us to understand that the average lawyer [not in that firm] is not a human being]? What species is he?
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According to a recent commercial, H & R Block is opening up millions of offices in your homes. Does that mean you reap the benefits of rent, insurance, cleaning, telephone, Internet access, profit sharing and the like? Does Block have to pay extra taxes for all those offices? There must be truth and more details in advertising.

Celebrities, Shills/Lawyers

*Lawyers are proving again and again that they are basically unethical, and in many cases it goes to a corrupted state. Ads on TV now sound like fishing expeditions with the hope of finding a client to give them 30% or 40% of any settlement. I find this distressing. It seems the lawyers are checking every drug possible to examine the stated side effects around which to prepare a commercial---which will sound very serious and denigrate needed medications. For the most part, when patients take medication they are apprised of the side effects either by their doctors or the information inserts with each medication. -- 'Did you suffer injuries from tripping over your shoelaces? You may be entitled to financial compensation from the shoelace manufacturer [a sort of Aglet Case]---and if we don't win there, we'll go to the shoemaker. If you rent, we'll go to your landlord. And if all else fails, we'll sue you. We want to go to court and win. How is not a concern.'

In an effort to pay their ever-increasing staff, lawyers are suing everybody they can, whether frivolously or not. And since most medications and products have side effects and dangers that are clearly stated, their efforts are simply to get settlements and raise the cost of living for every patient in the US. They also clog the courts for the Attorneys' own purposes. I guess, they want everyone to live in bubbles and be secure from everything.

*I keep seeing these TV ads by Regions Bank. Can I get one of those green bicycles they're putting together?

*All celebrities and politicians should be required to wait until they're 65 before writing a memoir, and only until after an election for the President, Senators, and Representatives. And they can't cheat by hiring shills to write one for them. If young people want to get their points across, they should start taking notes. If they can't use them when they retire, later biographers can use them for a biography after the celeb overdoses. For one, I'm tired of seeing young teens and six year-olds write an autobiography [with a ghost of course.] They are usually looking to do something to cash in on their fifteen minutes before the end up on the trash heap. And I'm also tired of the no-brain contingent out there who buy and read these ridiculous things.

*This is in the ITT Tech TV commercial: "If you want something, go out and get it. Don't let anything stop you." This is great advice. It's how we create criminals. 'If you want it, take it.' Or a 60's hippy: 'If it moves, fondle it.'

*TV ads promote amoral activity in America. For example, lie to your daughter when you wore her dress [complete with flashbacks.] When she asks about it, deny culpability, dig it out of you hamper, launder it and sneak it back into her closet. And this mother is supposed to be a role model?

*There is a decided lack of talent with today's celebrities and wannabes. I've heard a number of them singing the National Anthem, and their voices are poor to middling without electronic enhancement and cover-up. Besides, a well known song like the Anthem is easily singable, and 90% of these singers don't know the words or the song music itself. It get's tiring to see them gum up the works. And on those occasions I see amateurs singing the Anthem and a slew of other songs, they handle them quite well, know the words, and understand the music.

*From the Wikipedia: "Bahá'í teachings state that God is too great for humans to fully comprehend, or to create a complete and accurate image of, by themselves. Therefore, human understanding of God is achieved through his revelations via his Manifestations." This comment is understandable in most Christian faiths. And it's a fine answer---if a somewhat limited one---to the scientists/atheists who still cling to the 'by chance' theory.

*Quaker State claims that its artificial oil is so superior that, when it needs changing it still exceeds the manufacturers specifications for new oil. I have questions. If it still exceeds manufacturers specs, why does it need changing? To make the consumer buy more? To increase the Quaker State profit line?

The Gold-Twin Random Smoking Mysteries

It appears the made-for-tv-sale coin dealers are back again with their half truths and misleading statements. Case in point is the NCM offer of a 1929 Indian Head Proof for $24.45 delivered. Though the large print says 'Last $5 Indian ever struck by the U.S. Gov't---that is not what you'd be buying. '...Non-legal tender proof is a classic collectible...' Maybe, depending on what you're collecting and how smart a collector you are. These are certainly not real coins nor even completely gold. The original $5 Indian coin is 90% pure gold, [100% gold would be unworkably soft] while this 'replica' is only gold plated.

The term 'proof' is also bandied about. However, much as that would indicate a struck coin proof, this is not the case. Why? Because this is not a U S coin! Furthermore I don't know what the NCM uses for research, but I question the statement that '...With its historic importance, scarce population and unique design, it's no wonder that one of the original 1929 $5 Gold Indians recently sold for $34,100!...' You can get an uncirculated $5 gold Indian [the real McCoy] from the Home Shopping Network for $710, a more realistic price to quote.

Stimulus Bill purchases for benefit of Joe's Corner Store------->

Again, the NCM states that '...There is a strict limit of five Proofs per order. Orders will be filled on a first-come, first-served basis...' I found the same 'gold piece' being offered on at least seven other websites for similar prices. And I don't remember any of them limiting the purchases to five or any other number. I don't believe the NCM limitation will be followed. If you have the money, NCM has the product! No real limitation. Just for you, we'll make an exception.

According to my calculations with the current retail price of gold leaf, I've considered one-eighth of a gram of gold leaf per coin. I sent an email to NCM [1/19/09] asking about the gold content, but I haven't heard back yet [3/09/09.] In any case, the bulk-buying cost of an 1/8th gram of gold leaf [1 sheet] would be about $6. So, your '1929 Indian Head Proof' from NCM has about $6 in gold. Although I saw the piece for sale on Ebay for $60 [I also saw numerous inexpensive books selling for $1,000,000 each! A matter of listing order on the database, I suppose], most resales should be much lower than $24.45.

And you can't accept any claims that the piece is uncirculated, because it's not a coin, and it would never be circulated in the first place. So, as I noted in my last essay on silver pieces, 'buy the ['1929 $5 Indian Head Proof'] if you want, but don't buy it for use or investment.'
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Aren't you sick and tired---as I am---of these tv ads for lawyers? It seems they'll pounce on anything to make a buck. You see, according to the legal profession---like the Liberals---no one is guilty of anything. To the contrary, someone else is always guilty---even if the practice or product in question has been accepted for many years or decades without the dubious advantage of today's Liberal hindsight.

Take cigarettes for an example. Even as a school kid in the fifties, I knew their use would lead to cancer or breathing problems. I didn't need a surgeon general or lawyer to tell me. Everyone I knew who used cigarettes, knew they were dangerous. But their pleasure outweighed the danger, so they continued. And, by the way, I liked Joe Camel and he didn't entice me to buy Camels or any other cigarettes. And I've never seen any positive proof that children were adversely influenced by smokey Joe. I like Popeye, but I don't buy his canned spinach. Nor do I buy Mickey Mouse coloring books.

Now we have court cases awarding millions and billions of dollars to 'aggrieved' parties. If you smoke, you have no business suing the cigarette manufacturers. You knew the danger. Just like we know the danger of driving cars on highways; or hunting; or working in the kitchen; or flying; or entering the military; or riding with a Massachusett's senator on a Saturday night near water.

Life is a continuous flow of danger, and we have to make our ways through it with a minimum of damage to live a long life.

Besides, what the lawyers don't tell you is that they'll take at least a third of your award---if any. So if you win $50,000, you can say good-bye to $15,000 plus the lawyer's expenses. If you win $500,000, you can do the math. And the expenses will suddenly escalate to the lawyer's advantage. Some lawyers will take 40% as a matter of course, so keep your wallets closed.

We have a litigious society simply because the lawyers want it so. And their Liberal cohorts in office continue to provide opportunities for the public to sue everyone else for real or perceived injuries. If you haven't got a case, your lawyer will manufacture one from the flimsiest data he or she can find. All for your benefit? Sometimes I wonder. Meanwhile, resulting prices of our commodities and services will increase to cover the spurious awards---not to mention climbing insurance rates.

Remember, the increasing number of lawyers need more and more litigations to pay their bills and give them lifestyles they think they're entitled to. So, stay in bed and be sure you don't get bed sores.
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I keep seeing these tv commercials about feeding the poor children of the World, such as 'CCFund'. It usually bothers me when I see these sad stories narrated by overweight people. It seems to me, they should be doing a little sacrificing themselves. Sally Struthers call your office.
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UScoinnetwork.com has an announcer for the Obama commemorative coins who sounds exactly like Obama. That's no coincidence. It's a clever c'mon to make the coins to have more of a Presidential connection and sound more momentous than they really are.
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There's a tv advertisement for a to-be-nameless [I don't want the firm suing me!] law firm, you know, one of the millions advertising for mesothelioma cases? One supposed happy client said it all. "They are more than lawyers, they are human beings." So, I guess lawyers are level 1 and humans are level 2?