Thursday, November 13, 2008

A Returning Mummy

I was watching the 'Mummy Returns' the other night, and I couldn't help but notice that the destitute, losing Egyptian soldiers straggling back to no-one knows where all looked quite well fed and muscular. Not only that, but the Scorpion King himself---besides a perfect physique---has perfect, bright white teeth. That's quite an accomplishment for the ancient Egyptian era, especially before Anubis chose him to lead a phantom army. It's things like this that remind us we're watching fantasy [or play-acting as it used to be called] in front of cameras with techinicians all around. For me, that's the major reason I'm rarely frightened during a movie. Startled yes. But rarely frightened. And yes, that has always tempered my ability to enjoy a good movie to the fullest extent.

These notables and the constant danger and physical violence shown on the screen often leave me wondering just what's going on. But I must say that Brendan Frazer's pants went through the whole movie without a scratch. Now, that's quality.
It seems to me that television show producers have gone overboard in their search for new shows. To a certain extent, the executives in power are scratching the bottom of the idea barrel. We have reality and specialty shows of being left on an island [and it's spin-offs]; art and drawing; cooking; decorating; home design; dancing; singing; bounty hunters; dirty jobs in general; FBI; railroad trains; forensic medicine and detection; potting and planting; home improvement to include carpentry, electrical, and plumbing [though without Joe]; Ozzie's home; building construction; auctions; human wrecking balls; hunting and fishing; northern winter fishing; cage wrestling; ice road truck traffic; legal, crime, and police work; logging; medical care; bodybuilding; motorcycle construction; poker; oil drilling; sandhogging; and others.

This is quite a list. I can remember when home improvement and cooking shows were all we had on broadcast tv---wait! There was also Jon Gnagy's art program. As we gain in population we have to find new ways to keep the citizens glued to the tube. So, I have a few suggestions for regular new shows and programming to cover: historic honey-dipping; farming; slopping pigs; comic book writing; television production; movie making; straight-line counterfeiting; life as a Geisha girl; auction pinochle; creative cyber hacking; board game principles; modern crossword puzzle solving; the real shop on the corner, a haberdashery; Chess in Reality; how to run and become president; competitive grass growing; and so on.

What we can hope disappears are the talking-head news shows, especially those on politics; drug manufacturer's ads; Billie Mays here; and those half-hour ads shown at times when no one's watching.
I was watching some of these 'Home Security' companies' advertising recently---say, do they all use the same burglar? He's none to smart, you know. He breaks in the front door [seconds after the parents leave through the same door.] Another attempt is made at the back sliding door. Then he tries the back screen door. And these break-ins are done to houses with lights on, including that back door job with the lighted room beyond! If that's an example of the new breed of crooks, I'll stick with the tape of Bowser barking his head off and an appropriate light activation switch.

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