Random Thoughts October

Campbell Soup's new commercial states that it's condensed soups are great tasting in part because they are made with less water. That sort of negates the name 'condensed', doesn't it? Besides, if less water is so great, why is it the directions on the can call for you to add a can of water?

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There are numerous drug commercials on tv these days---probably too many. And I saw a personnel ad about them.

'Fast speaker needed. Must be able to spout hundreds of drug side effects in thirty seconds while sitting at a desk and not moving a muscle---and yet making the product seem like the best thing since sliced bread---if you forget about the 1001 side effects. Things are made easier by having the person sitting across from you [supposedly listening] sit frozen and without batting an eyelash.'

So, did that ever happen to you? Did you sit across a desk from a doctor who spoke to you like a robot? And did you sit frozen and stare at him? That guy listening doesn't seem to react to any of the side effects!

Some of these medical commercials are so out of touch with reality you have to wonder about the product itself. I have to laugh when hearing them state all the side effects. After listening to them---spouted by fake doctors or woman friends---one has to wonder why we should be taking them in the first place.
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I'm really tired of unwelcomed advertisements. I work on three crossword puzzles every day from several web sites: USA Today; Boston Globe; and LA Times. The latter two are fine, but USA Today is driving me crazy.

I go to the 'Life' page and the top part is covered by an advertisement. Sometimes I can close it, sometimes I can't. When I reach the crossword puzzle link I click on it. But the big block of ever-changing design for the puzzle has a video ad in the center of it. I have to listen to it until the end, then it turns into the puzzle.

Friday I went there, and I found an ad in lieu of the puzzle! I had to listen to it as it ran and disappeared. Only after that did the puzzle appear.

I'm sorry for the newspaper declines. That's life, and the companies are just going to have to deal with it without stomping on my toes. I don't believe I should have to be constantly inundated with ads in whatever I want to do on the net.

Even television has gone computer in its advertising. Sometimes, the whole bottom of the screen becomes a pop-up ad. Nothing like messing with the program on at the time, is there? I can't tell you how many times I thought someone was running out onto the racing lane during a NASCAR event. It's bad enough we have to endure commercial breaks, but men running out on the lanes and changing tires is a little too much.

I predict that there will be a time in the near future when the balance will tip. The ads will exceed the programs. They're like taxes. I can understand a reasonable amount of both, but the powers-that-be just go overboard on a regular basis no matter what they promise you.
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According to fun-with-words.com , 'Spoonerisms are phrases, sentences, or words in language with swapped sounds. Usually this happens by accident, particularly if you're speaking fast. Come and wook out of the lindow is an example.'

I find them in daily life quite often, and they're always lood for a gaugh. Like puns, they should NOT be occasions for groans. Some of the groaners out there are the biggest users of puns: Headline Writers, for example. Spoonerisms and puns are part of our life and examples of the mind moving slower [or faster, depending on the source] than the mouth due to some previous comment that hasn't quite left our consciousnesses.

'Spoonerisms' are so named after the Reverend William Spooner [1844-1930], a Dean and Warden of New College, Oxford University, England. He was plagued with these 'verbal slips' of the tongue on many occasions: 'fighting a liar' for 'lighting a fire'; 'nosey little cook' for 'cosy little nook'; 'you've tasted two worms' for 'you've wasted two terms; and so on. At a naval review, he extolled 'this vast display of cattle ships and bruisers' or take his aside to a new bridegroom: 'son, it is now kisstomary to cuss the bride.'

These verbal twists are essentially phonetic transpositions because they are more switched sounds than simply switched letters. In fact, large portions of words can be switched, for example: 'manahuman soup' for 'superhuman man.'

And there's no chance of running out of ammunition. English has over three times the words as any other language, so it's not surprising that so many 'verbal slips' can be created---not on purpose, mind you, but created nevertheless.

The 'words' web site also records that 'Radio announcer Harry Von Zell once introduced the president as Hoobert Heever. And Lowell Thomas presented British Minister Sir. Stafford Cripps as Sir. Stifford Craps.'

So please, friends, go out and spake some moonerisms. You'll enjoy life a little more.